10 Ways To Kill an Elephant

10 WAYS TO KILL AN ELEPHANT:
       1. cut off his foot so when he tries to walk he tips over 
         into a pool of pungie sticks

     2. we send it to Shae Hansen's house

       3. we paint it black and the Ku Klux Klan comes after it
         and hangs it from the nearest building

       4. we do magic tricks with it but it doesn't work because
         he's so big, so he dies when trying to cut him in half

       5. cut off his trunk, send it back in time to the caveman so
         they will end up eating it

       6. feed him McDonald's until he blows up 

       7. give him a tatoo of a target on his side and sell tickets
         to shoot the moving target 

       8. make him read Hamlet

       9. put out a sign saying free elephant rides and he'll die 
         from exhaustion of too many rides

      10. you put him inside a box and you put that box inside
         another box, then i'll mail that box to myself and when 
         it arrives I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!! its 
         BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT. brilliant I SAY!